Working Late, On the Metaphorical Treadmill

Despite me thinking today would be all rain and gloom, the sun has appeared. I hope the window cleaners come by soon..
Despite me thinking today would be all rain and gloom, the sun has appeared. I hope the window cleaners come by soon..

One downside of attending a workshop on tenure is that it starts bouncing around your head for the rest of the day. It’s now 6PM, I’ve been on campus since around 8:30AM, and will probably still be here for another half hour, perhaps an hour. Cue the world’s smallest violin, I know, but bear in mind that today was a working-lunch kind of day. The goal is to get to 1,000 words, and not waste too much time blogging for DayofDH.

It’s funny though, being a digital humanist in my case means both the joy of abstract exploration, but also working within the structures of being on the tenure track.

A lot of what I deal with is a low-level form of stress, and a wee bit of imposter syndrome. I abstractly know that I should be okay: I work all the time, I’m successful in publishing papers and now a book, my teaching scores are high, and my annual reviews are positive. But there’s always this feeling that I should do more, publish more, win more grants, write another book, etc. So I do that.. and then as soon as good news comes, I end up feeling like I should do even more. It’s sort of like a treadmill, and part of the difficulty is the juggling of long-term goals (my second sole-authored monograph project, which I suspect will take at least another two years to whip into shape) with short-term ones (articles).

Anyways, I know it’s all “world’s smallest violin” – I work in a position of extreme privilege, and part of that probably implores me to work even harder. And at least I know when I get home tonight, I can call it a day.